Fear of spilling oil

Things seem better now, but every now and then the splash of uncertainty takes away the relief of normalcy. One normal day is a big relief. But which day it will  be is never known. There is constant fear, constant uncertainty to to when things will go wrong. Its like walking on the eggshells. In hindi there is story of a person carying a pot filled with oil and at any cost he has to make sure he doesnt spills it. His fully attention is on not spilling the oil and therefore he is not aware of his surroundings however beautiful they are. He cannot enjoy anything as his focus it not spilling the oil.
My life has somewhat become like this person. All my focus is on how to make sure things dont go wrong, cause if it does it affects all three of us , special our kid. And for this I have to head bad things about my self, my family members and let her do anything she wants from shopping, raoming, sleeping, shouting .... the list is long.It seems that I have scarified everything about me for her, but all she has for me are complaints...!
Life is beautiful...!